


The passion of tonight

by Maedelmae



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Drama, Drug Use, M/M, suicide warning, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maedelmae/pseuds/Maedelmae
Summary: He traded everything for a night of passion. Just the sensation was enough to convince him to forget it all.-------------The au where everyone has left except for Gintoki and he is trying to live without everyone, but he misses his kids and boyfriend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guys, I haven't posted in awhile so, I guess it's good to be back. Please read this and tell me your thoughts. This will be multiple chapters so expect more but I have no idea when I will post so thanks guys.

He traded everything for a night of passion. Just the sensation was enough to convince him to forget it all. His silver hair gleemed in the moonlight from the window as the dark haired man thrust into him at a painful rate. But that's how he liked it. He liked the pain. It reminded him that he was alive and that he did not in fact die alone in an alleyway.

God, how depressing. But that's just how it is. The night ended far too quickly for him and he was once again left alone. How much longer would he be alone this time?  The last time he didn't see anyone for a month. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep going through life like this wondering when the next time he would be fucked would be. 

He couldn't handle it. He grabbed and ripped at his hair as he sat with a never ending pain in his heart. It hurt so much, too much. How did he do it before? 

The dark haired man silently got dresed and lit a cigarette as he left the familiar room. The smell of sex and cigarettes invaded his nose and he gagged. He hated that smell. It was the smell of abandonment. 

He sat there still covered in semen as he looked at the moon through the window. He always got nostalgic when looking at the moon like this. 

He didn't know what he was doing in life. He had nothing left. Everyone got up and abandoned him with promises of returning. 

What lies they told. 

Even the one he loved left. 

He couldn't do it anymore. 

He got up, legs numb, and stumbled to the kitchen. He found the bottle of sake he was looking for and took it back to his room. Gintoki plopped down on the futon and opened the previously sealed bottle; bringing it to his lips and downed a quarter of it before he set it back down and fell on his back. Alcohol has a weak effect on him now and he tried finding another substitute, but all the drugs did was make him even more depressed.

God what a wreck. 

Maybe that was the night. 

Maybe he could finally die. 

Yes. Tonight was the night. 

He wrote down something before heading to the bathroom and grabbing a handful of pill bottles. He arrived back to his futon again, it was always his safe haven, and opened every bottle he grabbed; taking the contents immediately after they were opened. Once all the pills were gone, he downed the rest of the liquor and passed out. 

\----------------------------

Everything was nothing. 

It was all black. 

Just a big pile of empty. 

He felt something chewing at the back of his head but he couldn't remember anything. The blackness of everything seemed familiar though. He just couldn't put a thumb on it, but being the lazy fucker he is, he gave up and sat down. 

He felt drained. Like all of a sudden the energy was being pulled out of him. He couldn't even sit up anymore. He layed down and shut his eyes, but before he could fall asleep, he heard a noise. A calling. He ignored it and feel back asleep.

\-------------------------------------------- 

He woke up. 

Why did he wake up?  

Want he supposed to be dead? 

He looked around and saw a nurse checking his vitals. 

"Why couldn't you just let me die." He whispered and fell asleep again.


End file.
